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Hannah Ashford (Abbott) ([info]hannah_or) wrote,
@ 2007-12-27 09:37:00

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001
"The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another." ~James Matthew Barrie

I'm not sure what will go in this thing other than my thoughts and my musings. Possibly nothing but boring tidbits. Most probably won't even be public. But the fact that they're there, that I'm able to go over them, may be of some comfort. I've never had one of these before, but they say if you write things down, they're less likely to fester... or something akin to that. Maybe. So, here's hoping.


I'm not sure why Dumbledore sent us back here. Whether it was a last ditch effort to save us or whether he genuinely thought out this off the wall plan that consists of us saving the world from The Dark Lord. Knowing Dumbledore, it could be a bit of both. Sometimes I wondered if the man thought through what he usually said or just let whatever was on the top of his head come out and see where it led us.

I'm stuck in the past... in 1975. My mother... she's alive and well and probably beautiful, but I can't know her. I can't get to know her. Draco doesn't think that's a good idea and he's probably correct. But the fact that I can't speak to her on a deper level than a passing greeting in the hallway... well, it hurts a little to be honest. I have this second chance to know her all over again and it's just beyond my reach. I suppose that's life. If Dumbledore did send us back here for a specific reason, then getting to know my parents when they were my age is less important.

I wonder how things are back home. I wonder if he's won and all is lost in our time. If my father is suffering or if he's already joined my mother. Is it sad that I'm hoping for the latter? Or did we win in the last seconds before Dumbledore sent us back here? Did we win and someone is trying to figure out a way to find us and bring us back? It's a foolish thing to hope for, but its there, nonetheless. I suppose it'll always be there.


(Post a new comment)


[info]neville_or
2007-12-28 04:34 am UTC (link)
I suppose that maybe that's what they are for. For us to just put whatever we want in them. Would make sense to me.

[Private to Hannah]
I know what you mean. It's so hard to see them and not know them. That's how I feel about my parents too. But, I will disagree on one point. Our parents are here - why not use that time to get to know them? I mean, what could be more important?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[[ Hannah / Neville ]]
[info]hannah_or
2007-12-28 04:41 am UTC (link)
You're a sweetheart, Neville. You're probably one of the few who understand too. I'm just... I'm cautious because I'd be so wound up seeing her and it'd be all emotional for me and knowing me I'd end up saying something I wasn't supposed to.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

[[ Hannah / Neville ]]
[info]neville_or
2007-12-28 04:48 am UTC (link)
Well, if you need anyone to talk to about it, you can always let me know. It'd be nice to talk to someone else that understands too. I have the same fears about talking to my parents - and I went and decided to be a sixth year just so I could be with them!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

[[ Hannah / Neville ]]
[info]hannah_or
2007-12-28 05:04 am UTC (link)
That's sweet I wasn't sure what year I wanted to be in, so I just settled for sixth.

Talking goes both ways, Neville.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

[[ Hannah / Neville ]]
[info]neville_or
2007-12-28 05:06 am UTC (link)
I'm so glad that you'll be in sixth year too! Maybe we'll have some classes together. I was worried I'd be the only one of us in that year. And you know how I am...I was sure I'd forget something vital and ruin everything.

Thanks, Hannah. I'll remember that.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

[[ Hannah / Neville ]]
[info]hannah_or
2007-12-28 05:08 am UTC (link)
I'm sure you'll do just fine, Neville.

(Reply to this) (Parent)



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